Hello my sweet readers! As you know we’re currently knee deep in moving and getting situated in Germany, wahoo!
Today I’m happy to share a guest post with you! She’s a fellow military spouse sharing an honest and open look on how Autism has impacted her family.
Although, I’m not dancing on tables about it; I am also not saddened by my children’s diagnosis of Autism.I do not cry at night that their future is grey, bleak, unpredictable or even, possible. I actually laughed at my daughter’s diagnosis, while other parents would have cried. Dare I say my children are actually better people because of it. I feel grateful actually for it. Autism has changed our lives.
Patience, kindness and almost any emotion are not normally synonymous with Autistic children. Normally they are empty shells and blank slates not having, showing or comprehending other peoples; let alone their own feelings. Between parents and therapists we fight and battle and strive to teach them how to just be “normal” and understanding. We make them special books, have role playing and long explanations. But my children- they are special. They are unique and they are different; which is always interesting. I am appreciative of the lessons Autism has taught me and my children. Unbelievable, I know. However, justly it is sobering.
Life is ever changing for a military family. We move almost every three years; sometimes only weeks in advance. We are assigned to live in different states than our families, counties and continents. We never know if our spouse will leave at a moment’s notice. We question the attendants of our husbands at the birth of their children. We have numerous moments of stead fast parenting during training and deployment cycles. We never know day to day if our spouses will come home safe. But what do we know, what we can count on, is the Autism that will always be with us.
Autism is like that person in your family. We all have one. The person we play nice with but we are gritting our teeth and sharping our claws ready to pounce on them at all times. But for family sake and the sake for being the bigger person; we are nice. We are fake, but we are nice. We know no matter what, that person will always be there; through birthday parties and holidays. They are unfortunately reliable. Autism is like that. Autism is reliable; it is never changing. However, for the sake of all that is good, and the love we have for our children, we fake it.
We let the Autism think it has control, but secretly we are taming the beast. How? By loving our Autistic children and by treating them as normal as possible. I do not give into temper tantrums over toys (even though they might last a day) and I don’t bend to the picky eater. I stand my ground.
My children have taught me to be strong, to be accepting and to be open to learning; not Autism. Autism has taught my children to be their “normal”. And their “normal” has taught us all there is no normal. Happiness was born into my family when Autism was diagnosed. With a diagnosis came a light and a hope; a hope that one day Autism will teach others how precious a diagnosis like Autism could be.
While I personally have no experience navigating the military life with children who have special needs, I appreciate the willingness of MotherofChaos3 being so transparent and allowing us a glimpse into their lives and they journey they are on.
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